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Name: haley
Interests: learning to be grateful.
experiencing freedom in worship.
prophecy.
dance.
birthing and raising children naturally.
paint, clay, making bright messes.
exemplifying the body of Christ in my relationship with my husband.
learning with him to love unabashedly.
realizing my femininity.
sharing.
living this life. blessed life.
Occupation: www.andeahmik.com
Industry: myspace.com/clarissemclellan
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  O Consuming Fire
Member Since:
11/20/2002
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| My heart hurts. I want more of the Lord.
The deeper I dig, the more dissatisfied I get. Or rather, the lovesickness intensifies.
I want to take everything on my walls down and repaint my heart. I want to overcome selfishness.
I want to overcome my own self. I want to be won over by grace and I want my foolishness to wash away forever.
Wisdom, come and find me.
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| I really want to know where we're going- who doesn't?
But all I've got is where I'm at.
We're here in Kansas City, MO again. Love it.
Had dinner with some people at a Catholic Worker House tonight. 'Mazing. They love the poor. They garden for political reasons. They loved on me and my kids.
Came home to a cantankerous husband. He had to go to work and was in a mood before he left. I love that man.. just don't want to bullshit about my life- things are how they are. We fight sometimes. We're amazed and grateful that we've made it four years into our marriage now. Marriage is hard. Raising kids is hard, too. But how else will we be refined? I pray for humility all the time. How am I supposed to come by it? I know I have to be broken.
Jesus said to them, "Have you never read in the Scriptures:
" 'The stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone;
the Lord has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes'? "Therefore I tell you that the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit. He who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed."
I want to learn to love the ones that know how to get under my skin. I can easily give my money and posessions away, I can feed the poor, I can volunteer, I can discipline my kids and read them the Bible, but when someone who really knows me and has a deep relationship with me does something hurtful, it takes me a bit to recover. I am a little delusional sometimes, thinking I'm so spiritual when half the time I can't control myself enough to not be argumentative and sarcastic.
I am so grateful for mercy. I want to learn the art of mercy and grace. I need it to be infused into my being. I can be so calculating.
Back to the nitty gritty, as Kenton says.. we are settled into an apartment in Grandview, MO. I go to the prayer room pretty often with the kids and just do my normal mom stuff. We have dinner parties. Life is so normal it feels wrong, almost. I was delighted to be surrounded by homeless old guys and people serving the poor tonight. Gotta find that balance- I want to serve my family and have true humility with them, and then go into the streets and love the least of these out there. But right now little boys need to go night night.
love,
haley
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| we're in Dallas TX. learning about humility lately. Read Humility by Andrew Murray and The Final Quest by Rick Joyner at the same time. It will take you places. Low places. I got friends in low places.. "I am among you as one who serves." -Jesus Going to a dear friends' wedding in a couple of days. Finally, two more on the boat. Now gotta get 'em on the baby train.
I hope to instill in my kids just how serious it is to take on marriage and a family. It's akin to moving to Africa to be a missionary- that dreaded 'calling' so many american christians say they are afraid to get someday somehow. But here in the good old u.s.a. every church is filled with people called to lay their lives down for those that know them at their ugliest and weakest and who ask more of them and do less for them (kiddos) and challenge and call them to service (spouses) than any other person in their lives. I understand more now why women were encouraged to focus on 'womanly arts' - mending, washing, reading, cooking, cleaning, decorating, etc.- than having more masculine hobbies. You can't go horseback riding pregnant or with toddlers. You can't devote yourself to your art or writing without either hiring help or doing it while they are asleep (thus neglecting the husband). Not to say we shouldn't pursue our interests- but- we have to always be ready to lay the down for our calling, and right now, mine is, to be the best mother, wife, and friend I know how to be. It takes up a lot of time and energy. I want to teach my kids to find contentment in that place of service and not try to shrug it off when it gets hard. I would teach my friends the same thing, but I can't be everybody's boss... so instead I'll just keep asking when they're having kids so my kids will have someone to play with and so they will stop keeping me up late acting all young. It's such a relief when your friends will just sit with you and watch your hatchlings play together.. or get excited about a date to the zoo... and when they totally understand why all you want is to drink coffee and sit still and not go on road trips and stay up all late anymore.
So anyway, looking forward to the wedding of Daniel and Camille.
Dreaming of community life as usual- just read a friends' plans to start a commuity up north akin to the Walker House, but more for the homeless population in the area- I'd love to be there. But we may very well end up back in Edinburg in a month. I am listening to the Lord on this one and trying to not have my way. Who knows where I will thrive? I am learning so much down there about service, mostly about how I suck at it. I want to dig into that and break into new ground, plant seeds of patience, kindness, respect, love, humbleness. Oh I hope I hope. Where ever we end up I hope and pray for progress of the soul. | | |
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we just got back from spending two days in mexico and camping on the beach at south padre... isaiah is two weeks and two days old now. and zadok is two years and two months old..ha. anyway, hope to have a birth story and some family photos of us at the ocean up soon.
you know how it is. things are hectic but beautiful. love ya. | | |
| The labor...
 
The joy...
Isaiah Exodus Perez
Born at 10:15pm February 10th, 2009
7.9 lbs. 21" long
18 hours of natural labor - born with midwife attending in birth center in Weslaco, TX
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Sorry it took me so long to post anything.. it's almost midnight and I just snapped a photo of him sleeping to have something to show! All I have on my camera is labor video and photos.. the baby photos are on someone elses' camera.. very cute.. coming soon. Tomorrow will be the first day I don't have anything to do until 7pm except go to the store for groceries.. we have literally been running errands and doing things constantly every day since he was born. But we are into the flow of things and having two kids is twice the peaceful basking joyfulness as having one. He doesn't even cry, unless I put him in the car seat hungry, or if he's cold during a diaper change. He's more laid-back than Zadok, a lot more so. And Zadok was - is- the cat's pj's. So we are blessed.
Zadok LOVES having a baby around, and doesn't want to nurse, and doesn't act jealous. He is attention-hungry, but also very joyful and helpful and mature.
More later. love ya.
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